A revelation

So...I have realized something about myself that really isn't that big of a revelation...but is becoming more and more evident as Ashtyn gets older. I create these ideals of what things should look like, or how things should be and when I or others don't live up to my expectations....I am severely disappointed. Does anyone else know what I am talking about. I guess I have always had this in me...but more recently it has been consuming my every being. I started to recognize this when I was pregnant with Ashtyn....I had to have the perfect nursery, the perfect coming home outfit, the perfect pillow case for her delivery..I know..I know...I sound crazy! Taking pictures at the pumpkin patch, while pregnant, turned into a full of photo shoot with me barking orders at my mom and Jeremy and then having a mini panic attack when the camera battery died. I apologize again...and really do think pregnancy emotions are to partly blame..ha! However as bad as that was..... It has only gotten worse now that she is actually here. I have spent 3 months searching for the perfect Halloween costume and did I mention I have been planning her 1st birthday party since March. Why do I put so much pressure on myself and others? Why do I become so consumed with the materialistic things of this world? I am spending so much time worrying about details that I am missing the big picture! I wonder ow many minutes of my day have been wasted searching etsy for the perfect bow...when I could have been playing on the ground with Ashtyn. As my mom reads this..and she is probably the only one..ha...you are going to say Krista you are being too hard on yourself and you are a good mom..and I know that. I am a good mom, and my desire to have the best for Ashtyn comes from a good heart. It is a thin line we walk, though. I want to teach Ashtyn the importance of storing up treasure in heaven and not being consumed with things of this world....but am I setting the right example? Lord, it is so simple. Ashtyn is yours not mine....I thank you that you have entrusted her in my care. Forgive me for forgetting the purpose of this life. Help me to glorify you in all that I do and say, so that Ashtyn will know you as her Father and King. I will place no value in what I possess except in its relationship to the kingdom of heaven.

Amen.